Tuesday, 2 July 2013


Assalamualaikum everybody

May Allah bless u all

Hey, you know what? I just realized something. Every time I open up this blog is the time when I'm feeling down. huhu. teruknyerr saye

However, this time I won't let that happened. This time, nak share just one song that is sooo beautiful:)

Lagu maher zain - This worldly life. Here's the lyrics.
This Worldly Life (Dunya) - Lyrics:

How beautiful, is this worldly life
But not a soul shall remain
We all come into this world
Only to leave it one day
I can see that everything around me
Rises then fades away
Life is just a passing moment
Nothing is meant to stay, oh

This worldly life has an end
And it's then real life begins
A world where we will live forever
This beautiful worldly life has an end
It's a just bridge that must be crossed
To a life that will go on forever

So many years, quickly slipping by
Like the Sleepers of the Cave
Wake up and make a choice
Before we end up in our graves
O God! You didn't put me here in vain
I know I'll be held accountable for what I do
This life is just a journey
And it's taking me back to You


So many get caught in this beautiful web
Its gardens become an infatuation
But surely they'll understand at the final stop
That its gardens are meant for cultivation, oh


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Sunday, 2 June 2013

I stumble

Anyio!! and assalamualaikum:)
peeps, I'm back..huhu :D

Soooo...my last post was really, very wary.I was not in a good condition was I?It took me several days to recover this time. I was very childish wasn't I? You bet. Sometimes I think because my childhood was pretty much taken away from me so I am a child until today:D

Nevermind that. You know what makes me pull myself together again?Words and quotes. I just love them!
They are lovely to me. I did not say I have the worst past. Oh no no. There are thousands people out there that may have gone through something worse. But I know that what I went through and going through is not easy either. Well, did Allah promise that it will be easy? No sir! So, I should stop feeling sad and work on things that make me n my mom happy. I'll stumble again and again and again but I hope that I'll always get up better than before. Pray for me neh?

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Saturday, 1 June 2013

my heart

This heart of mine, is kinda lonely sometimes. I know I should not be. Allah is with me.always...
But at home, it's very hard. It's very hard not to get mad. It's very hard to 'pujuk' myself whenever I feel hurt. Some people(who understands my condition) said get yourself a good guy who'll listen to you. Then I'll give them that look that I always do. I do not need any guy who is not my husband. I do not need a husband either right now. I just need...peacefulness. Happiness.Maybe this is the reason why I'm such an introvert. Whenever I have time for myself I like to indulge myself in something that I like.Alone. Time for myself. I hate noise. I hate crowded places. Because when I'm back to real life business, it's always about everybody else. I always have to go back being the very well discipline me. I need to pretend to be strong again.

I'm such a whiner, am I?I know that too. I don't know. Sometimes it gets too painful. I don't mind crying. It's a huge part of my life. And thanks to that I got my panda eyes:D. But I can't see her crying. You know, I read this book called 7 habits of highly effective people. That book is quite okay and what it says are almost all correct. It said that we need to take control of things that we can and let go of things that we can't. Work on things that we can change to make our life better. I know this problem of mine is not mine to handle but I can't help feeling that I have to do something about it. Steve Jobs once said, do not waste your time by living somebody else's life. They are all correct and right on! But the thing is..I can't get out of this mess. It's not my choice. I barely can do anything about me and if I ever try to not think about it I just can't. It's my mom we're talking here. How can I believe that something that got to do with my mom has nothing to do with my life?How can I just let her cry and not do something about it?Tell me. How

Allah..HE got plans for me. Better than what I want. I know that. But sometimes, I just do not want to be strong. So just let me do that. I'll ask no more. Just let me be sad. I'm not asking for a miracle to happen. Just let me loose for a second. I'll be myself again tomorrow. I know people around me is trying to help. They throw solutions at me that they never know that it wont work cause I usually tell them just half of the story. Sorry guys, whatever you said, they'll never worked and not because I think so, but because I tried all of them. Nothing worked.

So for now, just let me be like this for a sec. Maybe tomorrow will be a good day, who knows. Am I whining?Am I not being grateful? I don't know. I hope not. Allah had given me more than I could ask for. Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah:)

I'm done crying. So I felt like writing. Sorry if this post does not come as any benefit to anybody but I just felt like writing. Don't be istaken. I'm fine. Just let me be. I'll be who I usually am again. I know that cause this ain't the first time
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Friday, 31 May 2013

I don't know

peace be upon you :)
hey, i got a new blog! huhu...naah..just changed the name and layout of the old one. so, it's also new :D
why? just feel like so. it feels more like me. little flower. somebody gave me that name :)

It's a holiday right now and the past one week has been..how do i put it..hurm..complicated i guess. my family issues are unresolved, getting worse actually but I do love to be with my guardian angel.mama <3
I had free time and lot of it actually I watched korean drama the winter that wind blows and it is amazing! enchanted kind of drama. I see lot of people are changing towards the better. But I don't know. Right know, I don't want to move. It's like I'm waiting for something. Or like I'm recharging myself. I like to stay quiet for now. Not to bother anything in the world. Allah had said after one good deed that we do, continue to do another. It's surah Al-Insyirah if I'm not mistaken. That means after the tiring hours in kmb I should put my gear back on and strive to work hard again. However, this time, I want to take some time to actually figure out a few reasons. Tajdid niat maybe. That means 'renew' my intention all along. I like reading good books, inspirational ones. And also listen to great speeches by great men. I want to filled my heart with knowledge and learn to be mature first before I do anything else.

It's not wrong right?Cause truthfully, I don't know. I hope so
Alright, adios amigos
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Saturday, 11 May 2013

oh..what a journey

Whaddup peeps? Peace be upon you

Days in kmb are never easy and now the sem 2 exam is here!! *scream*
really, you can see the word stress written on the gloomy faces here
my dear beloved senior is having her IB exam but u see, she still got time to remind me of a few things
the other day, she sent me a message
"assalamualaikum adik, apa khabar iman?" or in English it's "how's your iman"
sentap sehhh...tgk..org yg betul2 mantap iman mmg xkan goyah pegangan kan?
i'm sooo jelous of her..haha
so let's ask ourselves..how are we today?or better, how are our iman today??

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Monday, 22 April 2013

Little things perhaps?

"Remember, ask from Allah as much as you've done for HIM"

I quoted that from a dear friend who might just be reading this:P

"Allah looks at your effort, not your results"

Quoted from another friend on the same day who're most likely not going to be reading this

Those words came to me at the moment that I needed them the most
All those things might be little but putting my trust in Allah seems to make me feel a lot better. Even my whole body feels lighter. Somehow, all the little things are the ones that made me calm every single time

What more can I say than Alhamdulillah?

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Friday, 12 April 2013


Who can tell me that they never be in the 'serabut' moment?
Who never be in that situation where your life is a mess?
Anybody?I doubt so

For the past two weeks life has been a mess. Ask that to any kmb year 1 students
And for some reason I think I too might have put that load of work above my real responsibility
Many face the same problem these days. We're just too busy till we forget that this world is not all. Its just a drop of water in the ocean, and perhaps less!


But I've been through that.Alhamdulillah ( never thought I can do it though)
So to you guys out there and myself too, let's remember that we have a bigger responsibility than our studies or job or even family
For those who has no idea of what I'm thinking about...find the answer. You'll be surprised
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