ramadhan, raya & stuff

First thing first. Ramadhan had gone by this year. taqaballahu minna wa minkum:)
I have to admit. it's not the best so far but I think it changes me to a better me.a lot actually.

Next is raya!! (is the exclamation mark necessary?haha)
I hope that everybody had a happy eid although i didn't. no need for the explanation.

My mind has not been in a stable conditon lately. Especially after raya n so on. That's why I didn't write any posts before. I'm afraid I'll be writing unnecessary things n thoughts. This post doesn't have a specific title because there are so many things inside my head right now.  I'm pretty down, under the weather actually. But I know this is a test. I know it. But it is not an easy one for me because I've never failed before.But just a few days ago I nearly did. I used to be pretty good in my class but now i'm just an average.It takes me a lot of effort to accept this reality as it hurts me more than anything. I love to study.I really do. I just can't fail because I'm a muslim and muslims just don't fail. That's what I thought. But actually, through this failure, Allah actually answered one of my dua'.

Allah, I know I am a muslim with iman, different from those who don't. I know I have the knowledge of Islam that not everybody have. I realize I had been and is still in the process of tarbiyah which not many go through. And I know I am on the right direction. I never think of this but Allah, I'm afraid that I might boast about those things. I might think highly of myself. I might think I'm better than the others so please guide me Ya Raheem, always remind me that I'm just your slave that had been given so many ni'mah. Everything that I know and everything that I am comes from You. You may take it away anytime you want. Don't make me think that I'm better than the others. So Allah, do remind me that.

And today, the dua' is answered. Amin..

Read More

Tarbiyah

Oh.beza rupanya berada bersama dgn mereka yg mempunyai tarbiyah. hari ini, baruku sedar akan hakikat itu

Read More

Marah

Marah. Is there any normal human being on earth who haven't felt it before?
I doubt so.

Mungkin kdg2 kita terlepas pandang betapa besarnya or dalamnya kesan marah kpd seseorg. Kita pun sndiri terasa sakitnya hati bila kna mrh x bertempat. right?
Yes, we can forgive but it is not easy to forget as scars just don't dissapear as fast as the pain does.
We always heard that 'sabar itu separuh drpd keimanan'. separuh.half.one over two.that's a big portion isn't it?

Imam Bukhari ada meriwayatkan, Abu Hurairah menceritakan..
Satu hari datang seorang pemuda kepada Rasulullah s.a.w dan berkata "Wahai Rasulullah, berikan aku nasihat"
Rasulullah s.a.w menjawab "jangan kamu marah"
Lelaki itu bertanya lagi, "apakah ada lagi nasihat yang lain?"
Rasulullah s.a.w menjawab, "jangan kamu marah".
Sekali lagi lelaki itu bertanya dan Rasulullah s.a.w tetap menjawab, "jangan kamu marah".
(Hadis ke 16 Hadis 40)

Jangan kamu marah. Nasihat yg diulangi baginda.Nasihat yang tak mungkin sia2.

Jadi sahabat2, marilah kita bermuhasabah. Mengkoreksi diri.
Janganlah kita marah. Itu pesan Rasulullah s.a.w.
Kerana sesungguhnya baginda sayang kepada kita:)

Read More

test??

math test!!
seriously, it's not cool.
not for me at least.

hanya diri yg tahu betapa geramnya hati ini bila 2 soalan x mampu dijawab
huhu. ironic much.

but then it made me think of something else
baru 2 soalan test math. dh gelabah mcm it's the end of the world
mcm mna soalan2 yg bakal ditanya when it is really the end of the world?
questions that nobody can run away from

i gasped. my heart felt heavy.

it's from HIM that we came and to HIM we will return..

Read More

mujahidah

jalan seorg mujahidah bkn la mudah namun tidak juga payah kerana Allah telah berjanji takkan dibebani seorg itu melebihi dari kemampuannya. teringat akan satu bait nasyid yg seringku dengar.
bukan mudah bernafas dalam jiwa hamba..

semestinya tidak kerana syurga itu mahal harganya. redha Illahi yg menentukan segalanya.
hati ini bukan la seperti Saiditina Fatimah, puteri Rasulullah dan bukan juga seperti Saiditina Khadijah, seorg mujahidah yg ternama. jauh sekali hatiku dari hati mereka.namun akan ku gagahi langkah ini. utk bergerak setapak dekat denganNya.

belajar itu juga jihad ya ukhti, pesan sahabatku.
ya, benar sekali. hanya itu yg termampu ku lakukan. demi Islam yg kusayang
belajar dan terus belajar agar Islam tidak mudah diperlekehkan
aku sedar kehadiranku di sini bkn satu permainan. bkn juga satu senda gurauan
perjalanan yg menanti mungkin penuh dgn onak dan duri
namun ttp akn ku tempuhi
kerana keredhanNya yg ku cari..

Read More

Rasulullah..how I miss you..

Rasulullah..
Will I ever be good enough to see you smiling back to me in jannah?
Mampukah aku menyintaimu sepertimana engkau menyintai aku?
Ya Rasulullah..how I wish you are here right now

Read More

Ketenangan..

Ketenangan..
Bukan mudah utk merasainya..
Apatah lagi pabila diuji dugaan-Nya

Namun itulah tujuan ujian
Mendorong kita dekat pada Ilahi
Bknnya lari dari cintaNya yg hakiki

Saat tangan ditadah memohon pertolongan
Saat diri tunduk penuh keinsafan
Saat dirasakan tiada lagi harapan

Saat itulah ketenangan datang
Menyapa jiwa yang mungkin gersang

Dan ketika itu tahmid diucapkan
Merasai betapa besarnya nikmat ketenangan

Ya Allah..ku mohon, jangan kau tarik nikmat ketenangan ini ya Allah..

Read More

Ahlan Wasahlan to myself again

Assalamualaikum..n good early morning:)

A LONG TIME. that's what I needed in order to find myself.

What happened to me actually? Why did I stop writing blogs?
The answer is simple but hard to answer.
I simply lost myself.
Sitting at home, working, not doing much of anything after spm caused me to lose myself.
I don't know how to explaim it but what I do know is I felt empty and...away from HIM.

I had great troubles back then but still my heart was running away from HIM instead of searching from HIM. Back then I did not know why.

But now I do. Being a young adult and working actually made me forget the the reason I'm here, on earth, under HIS sky. My believe in HIM was weakened for I began to decrease the pages of reading the Holy Quran. I kept listening to K-POP instead of amazing voices of Quran recitation of Muhamaad Taha Al-Junaid,Al Ghamidi, Sudais and nasyeeds sang by Maher Zain, Sami Yusuf, Irfan Makki and so on. I read Hilal Asyraf's books but it didn't get through me like usual.

It was a hard time. I had my family with me. I had my mom (the most amazing mom ever!) with me 24/7. But without realizing it, I put HIM away....sad isn't it?

But now..ALHAMDULILLAH. Thanks Ya Allah. A million thanks for helping me to find myself back. KMB(Kolej Mara Banting or Mara Banting College). That's where I am right now. A place that I considered magical. People laugh when I said so because the facilities here are...'okay'.But for me it's really special. It's not a magical fairytale land or anything like that. It's just that being here makes me remember HIM. The tarbiyah here makes me closer to HIM. The seniors are just sweet.

But it's not the place that changes me. Allah did.
He opened my heart. and for that Alhamdulillah ya Allah.

Now, i want to refresh my life as a true miss mujahidah, InsyaAllah.
I would be a long and slow journey, perhaps a not easy one as I know I'll be crazily busy.
But with HIS help, nothing is impossible.
I want to a better me. One that can see Rasulullah smile when I smile to him.In jannah.
A big dream, a long road.
So guys, pray for me and lets move closer to HIM

I end my post with a hadith that always make me smile(I like it in Malay better:D)

Riwayat Al –Bukhari dan Muslim:

“ Amalan yang paling disukai Allah ialah pekerjaan yang berterusan (istiqamah) walaupun sedikit”.

Assalamualaikum and untill we meet again.^_^

Read More