Saturday, 22 December 2012


Change. why is it so hard these days?
My heart aches. Really bad
Why do I keep falling down, making mistakes?

I screwed up. I got it
But why is it so hard for me to get up like I always do
I'm hurt. My heart must be thorn into pieces. So did I thought
But even if it did, I will still feel the pain
Now, even the pain is not there
All left is the feeling of anger and frustration.
My heart is not wounded. It becomes hard and cold. Like stone or ice.

I'm losing hope. I'm losing the grip
The worst part is I just keep watching myself do so. Not even trying.

I watched movies. They are like fairy tales.I yearn for my life to be one
Though I know, a tale is just a tale
The thing is, I need to grow up
Face the reality

I thought I've found myself, but I'm wrong
I'm still struggling to find a purpose of living
I had one before. I thought it was it. I thought I had hold on to it strong
Again,I was wrong.

I want to run away. But I know I'm not a coward
I want to face all the problems. But is my heart able to face it too?

For now, all I want to do is find a purpose back
Allah. HE is always there though sometimes I don't feel it
I know HE has all the answers.
I just need to work hard to get it

Have faith girl.

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Wednesday, 12 December 2012

my guardian angel

hi people! assalamualaikum:)

finaly!! i have time to rest..although just for a's a looonggg holiday but, i have to work for my mum, help her becomes a little bit short.

i have nothing to write but just a reminder to everbody

care for your mother while you still can. she is not going to be with us forever.

Mom, you are beyond great! I can’t thank God enough for having you… I love you! Happy Birthday! I miss you =’( Get well soon! mwah!

people say i'm a spoilt brat. anak manja. I cling to my mum all the time. Ask for her permission before I do anything. Likes to hang out with her more than anybody else. Study next to her (during my school days). spend almost my enÚ†tire holidays working and helping her at the boutique. call her twice a day at KMB. never miss a day.tell almost everything to her daily.

and they ask me why?


that's how my expression changed. haha. because at first I was confused with their question and once I figured out the best answer I smiled and said " why don't you do the same?why don't you need to do so?I do that just simply because it is my that sacrifices her whole life to take care of this troublesome little girl.she's my best buds. I feel like I need to do so or I can't breathe. I need to talk to her daily or I can't study. I won't go to sleep if she doesn't.

I don't care about what people say. I love spending every precious moment with her.she's my guardian angel

                                                 Reblog if you love your mom….i do!!
oh wait. I did not say that mothers are perfect. Right?Because they are not. They make mistakes. I know.Sometimes we are hurt and sometimes we got blamed for things that we did not do or is right from our point of view. Sometimes they bable about such little things (we thought so).

my mum is just the same. she ain't perfect. she's a human too and we know that humans make mistakes. But if they can always forgive our mistakes. Why can't we do the same?Sometimes, me just have to let they win and a lot of times we need to do things that pleases them although it is not our cup of tea or we find it hard to do so. Sometimes we just have to take the blame and bear with the pain. Sometimes we just need to listen to what she says although it is the same thing everyday.

they sacrificed a lot for us. don't they?isn't it the time for us to do so?

A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship?
The Prophet said: Your mother.
The man said, ‘Then who?'
The Prophet said: Then your mother.
The man further asked, ‘Then who?'
The Prophet said: Then your mother.
The man asked again, ‘Then who?'
The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim).

that's a very common hadith. isn't it?

so what are we waiting for?
i can't wait for my mum to come back from work today.
it's 5 o'clock now and she's coming back at 6.30.
let's love our mom. while we still can.

And you know what, saying 'I love you mama (that's what I called her)" worth lot more than a thousand dimes.

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Monday, 3 December 2012


"I just don't get this couple thingy. well, I did it too back then but I realize it's really useless.there's no point whatsoever"

"take a chill pill girl..loving someone is not a crime"

"did I say so?"


"I just think it is a waste of time.sure, waking up in morning with sweet messages in your inbox really makes your heart skip a beat. but..are we that easy to get?btw who knows how long it will last. I did went through that phase and I swear I was an idiot

"we are teens. sometimes we ended up doing stupid things. couple is just a small matter dear. don't take it too hard. cherish the moment of being in love, every teenage girl deserves to be happy and appreciated"

"wrong. we are muslim teens.that makes us different."

okayy,,it's in the middle of the night and I cant sleep so I have a feeling of writing something
and..suddenly this thing called love popped into my mind..random as usual:)

moment of truth. everybody, who is normal falls in love at least once in their life. i did, twice.i'm the kind of person that hardly falls in love with anybody but when I do.uh-oh. big trouble
nobody says that falling in love is a crime but how you deal with that feeling that makes the difference.

couple?that's a cliche topic to debate about.but, certainly it is not for me.people normally ask me why?a big why.why do I care so much?why do I refrain myself when others are enjoying their love life?
my answer is simple. because the one that loves me the best says I should not. Allah says I should not.
"La taqrabuzina"says the Lord in the holy Quran. Don't go near it. poeple debate how couple is not near to zina.

come on guys. don't lie to yourselves. we are not just talking about 'that' zina. our eyes, ears n etc should not go near it too. we should not look at that handsome face before we can legally do so. we can't listen to the voice that melt our hearts before the akad is done.

I have thousands other reasons and some of them are:
- girls that are easy to get are easy to forget
- I have thousands better things to do
- only one guy is worth it
- can i say..nisa' (girls) are just too special?
- I have not yet love HIM perfectly
- youth is not ti me to play around. we got bigger mission
- i will not die without a boyfriend
- couple is not a guarantee for a marriage
- angels in the heaven are way better looking :D
- it won't be fair to my future husband (whoever that is :P)
- muslimah..should be loved by those who put his love towards Allah above anything else,and those  who are willing to enjoy love life before marriage are not good candidates:)

there you go!that just a part of offense to anybody

I won't say it is easy to refrain but once you get your principles right, it is easier.
I won't say it does not hurt to leave a guy who loves you back because I too, shed lots of tears. but. it is worth it.
I can't say you must do it now.but gradually.

girls, it hurts, I know. I've been there but time really do heals the pain. it is painful yet possible. you'll break at first.heart shattered to bits and pieces. you'll find it hard not to say "happy birthday" on the date that you always did. you'll feel lonely when he is not there anymore to listen and be your guardian angel anymore. you'll find it hard not to smile when you see him as he walk by. sometimes, you'll feel at lost.

during those times. remember this. Allah is there for you. HE loves you more than you know. HE knows what's best for you. believe in that and don't worry, one day u'll feel that comfort again. your future husband is somewhere out there. be strong.don't be afraid. take a chance to open your heart to believe in HIM. one day, you will understand the reason why. InsyaAllah

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