Saturday 22 December 2012

Change

Change. why is it so hard these days?
My heart aches. Really bad
Why do I keep falling down, making mistakes?

I screwed up. I got it
But why is it so hard for me to get up like I always do
I'm hurt. My heart must be thorn into pieces. So did I thought
But even if it did, I will still feel the pain
Now, even the pain is not there
All left is the feeling of anger and frustration.
My heart is not wounded. It becomes hard and cold. Like stone or ice.

I'm losing hope. I'm losing the grip
The worst part is I just keep watching myself do so. Not even trying.

I watched movies. They are like fairy tales.I yearn for my life to be one
Though I know, a tale is just a tale
The thing is, I need to grow up
Face the reality

I thought I've found myself, but I'm wrong
I'm still struggling to find a purpose of living
I had one before. I thought it was it. I thought I had hold on to it strong
Again,I was wrong.

I want to run away. But I know I'm not a coward
I want to face all the problems. But is my heart able to face it too?

For now, all I want to do is find a purpose back
Allah. HE is always there though sometimes I don't feel it
I know HE has all the answers.
I just need to work hard to get it

Have faith girl.


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Monday 3 December 2012

love..sarangheyo:)


"I just don't get this couple thingy. well, I did it too back then but I realize it's really useless.there's no point whatsoever"

"take a chill pill girl..loving someone is not a crime"

"did I say so?"

"errr..no"

"I just think it is a waste of time.sure, waking up in morning with sweet messages in your inbox really makes your heart skip a beat. but..are we that easy to get?btw who knows how long it will last. I did went through that phase and I swear I was an idiot

"we are teens. sometimes we ended up doing stupid things. couple is just a small matter dear. don't take it too hard. cherish the moment of being in love, every teenage girl deserves to be happy and appreciated"

"wrong. we are muslim teens.that makes us different."



okayy,,it's in the middle of the night and I cant sleep so I have a feeling of writing something
and..suddenly this thing called love popped into my mind..random as usual:)


moment of truth. everybody, who is normal falls in love at least once in their life. i did, twice.i'm the kind of person that hardly falls in love with anybody but when I do.uh-oh. big trouble
nobody says that falling in love is a crime but how you deal with that feeling that makes the difference.

couple?that's a cliche topic to debate about.but, certainly it is not for me.people normally ask me why?a big why.why do I care so much?why do I refrain myself when others are enjoying their love life?
my answer is simple. because the one that loves me the best says I should not. Allah says I should not.
"La taqrabuzina"says the Lord in the holy Quran. Don't go near it. poeple debate how couple is not near to zina.

come on guys. don't lie to yourselves. we are not just talking about 'that' zina. our eyes, ears n etc should not go near it too. we should not look at that handsome face before we can legally do so. we can't listen to the voice that melt our hearts before the akad is done.



I have thousands other reasons and some of them are:
- girls that are easy to get are easy to forget
- I have thousands better things to do
- only one guy is worth it
- can i say..nisa' (girls) are just too special?
- I have not yet love HIM perfectly
- youth is not ti me to play around. we got bigger mission
- i will not die without a boyfriend
- couple is not a guarantee for a marriage
- angels in the heaven are way better looking :D
- it won't be fair to my future husband (whoever that is :P)
- muslimah..should be loved by those who put his love towards Allah above anything else,and those  who are willing to enjoy love life before marriage are not good candidates:)

there you go!that just a part of it.haha.no offense to anybody

I won't say it is easy to refrain but once you get your principles right, it is easier.
I won't say it does not hurt to leave a guy who loves you back because I too, shed lots of tears. but. it is worth it.
I can't say you must do it now.but gradually.

girls, it hurts, I know. I've been there but time really do heals the pain. it is painful yet possible. you'll break at first.heart shattered to bits and pieces. you'll find it hard not to say "happy birthday" on the date that you always did. you'll feel lonely when he is not there anymore to listen and be your guardian angel anymore. you'll find it hard not to smile when you see him as he walk by. sometimes, you'll feel at lost.

during those times. remember this. Allah is there for you. HE loves you more than you know. HE knows what's best for you. believe in that and don't worry, one day u'll feel that comfort again. your future husband is somewhere out there. be strong.don't be afraid. take a chance to open your heart to believe in HIM. one day, you will understand the reason why. InsyaAllah





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