Change

Change. why is it so hard these days?
My heart aches. Really bad
Why do I keep falling down, making mistakes?

I screwed up. I got it
But why is it so hard for me to get up like I always do
I'm hurt. My heart must be thorn into pieces. So did I thought
But even if it did, I will still feel the pain
Now, even the pain is not there
All left is the feeling of anger and frustration.
My heart is not wounded. It becomes hard and cold. Like stone or ice.

I'm losing hope. I'm losing the grip
The worst part is I just keep watching myself do so. Not even trying.

I watched movies. They are like fairy tales.I yearn for my life to be one
Though I know, a tale is just a tale
The thing is, I need to grow up
Face the reality

I thought I've found myself, but I'm wrong
I'm still struggling to find a purpose of living
I had one before. I thought it was it. I thought I had hold on to it strong
Again,I was wrong.

I want to run away. But I know I'm not a coward
I want to face all the problems. But is my heart able to face it too?

For now, all I want to do is find a purpose back
Allah. HE is always there though sometimes I don't feel it
I know HE has all the answers.
I just need to work hard to get it

Have faith girl.