ramadhan, raya & stuff

First thing first. Ramadhan had gone by this year. taqaballahu minna wa minkum:)
I have to admit. it's not the best so far but I think it changes me to a better me.a lot actually.

Next is raya!! (is the exclamation mark necessary?haha)
I hope that everybody had a happy eid although i didn't. no need for the explanation.

My mind has not been in a stable conditon lately. Especially after raya n so on. That's why I didn't write any posts before. I'm afraid I'll be writing unnecessary things n thoughts. This post doesn't have a specific title because there are so many things inside my head right now.  I'm pretty down, under the weather actually. But I know this is a test. I know it. But it is not an easy one for me because I've never failed before.But just a few days ago I nearly did. I used to be pretty good in my class but now i'm just an average.It takes me a lot of effort to accept this reality as it hurts me more than anything. I love to study.I really do. I just can't fail because I'm a muslim and muslims just don't fail. That's what I thought. But actually, through this failure, Allah actually answered one of my dua'.

Allah, I know I am a muslim with iman, different from those who don't. I know I have the knowledge of Islam that not everybody have. I realize I had been and is still in the process of tarbiyah which not many go through. And I know I am on the right direction. I never think of this but Allah, I'm afraid that I might boast about those things. I might think highly of myself. I might think I'm better than the others so please guide me Ya Raheem, always remind me that I'm just your slave that had been given so many ni'mah. Everything that I know and everything that I am comes from You. You may take it away anytime you want. Don't make me think that I'm better than the others. So Allah, do remind me that.

And today, the dua' is answered. Amin..