A LONG TIME. that's what I needed in order to find myself.
What happened to me actually? Why did I stop writing blogs?
The answer is simple but hard to answer.
I simply lost myself.
Sitting at home, working, not doing much of anything after spm caused me to lose myself.
I don't know how to explaim it but what I do know is I felt empty and...away from HIM.
I had great troubles back then but still my heart was running away from HIM instead of searching from HIM. Back then I did not know why.
But now I do. Being a young adult and working actually made me forget the the reason I'm here, on earth, under HIS sky. My believe in HIM was weakened for I began to decrease the pages of reading the Holy Quran. I kept listening to K-POP instead of amazing voices of Quran recitation of Muhamaad Taha Al-Junaid,Al Ghamidi, Sudais and nasyeeds sang by Maher Zain, Sami Yusuf, Irfan Makki and so on. I read Hilal Asyraf's books but it didn't get through me like usual.
It was a hard time. I had my family with me. I had my mom (the most amazing mom ever!) with me 24/7. But without realizing it, I put HIM away....sad isn't it?
But now..ALHAMDULILLAH. Thanks Ya Allah. A million thanks for helping me to find myself back. KMB(Kolej Mara Banting or Mara Banting College). That's where I am right now. A place that I considered magical. People laugh when I said so because the facilities here are...'okay'.But for me it's really special. It's not a magical fairytale land or anything like that. It's just that being here makes me remember HIM. The tarbiyah here makes me closer to HIM. The seniors are just sweet.
But it's not the place that changes me. Allah did.
He opened my heart. and for that Alhamdulillah ya Allah.
Now, i want to refresh my life as a true miss mujahidah, InsyaAllah.
I would be a long and slow journey, perhaps a not easy one as I know I'll be crazily busy.
But with HIS help, nothing is impossible.
I want to a better me. One that can see Rasulullah smile when I smile to him.In jannah.
A big dream, a long road.
So guys, pray for me and lets move closer to HIM
I end my post with a hadith that always make me smile(I like it in Malay better:D)
Riwayat Al –Bukhari dan Muslim:
“
Amalan yang paling disukai Allah ialah pekerjaan yang berterusan (istiqamah)
walaupun sedikit”.
Assalamualaikum and untill we meet again.^_^
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